I was just reminded of a Spanish guy I heard about in London when I was a student. We had a friend in common. He was called Jesus (as in “Hey Suss”; common enough in Catholic Hispanic countries). His English was pretty sketchy but he had heard about a job with Pizza Hut and decided to give them a call, thinking it a good idea to anglicise his name.

Riiiing….

“Pizza Hut! How can I help you?”

“Ghhhhelo. I am Jesus and I am call about the job”.

SLAM! Dee-dee-dee-dee….

Riiiing….

“Pizza Hut! How can I help you?”

“Ghhhhelo. I am Jesus and I am call about the job”.

SLAM! Dee-dee-dee-dee….

Riiiing….

“Pizza Hut! How can I help you?”

“Ghhhhelo. I am Jesus and I am call about the job. I sink there is a problem with the line.”

“Oh fuck-off, will you!!! I haven’t got time for this shit!!!”

SLAM! Dee-dee-dee-dee..