Holy Cows

British private school education is infused with idiosyncratic nomenclature; most of it complete nonsense to an outsider and something I’m certain The Collective takes an elitist pride in. At least in my experience at Tonbridge, it all went from “rather quaint and colourful“ through “confusing and not very helpful” to an extreme of “positively obscure”. […]

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Piano-piano…

Twenty-eight years ago approximately I remember being in some swanky restaurant in Soho with a very hot friend of mine who I “very much” wanted to get to know…  a lot better. She was receptive, of course, and all this was part of the mating dance. We were at a Parisian style “brasserie” and there […]

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The Breeders

Confinement under Covid has brought much wildlife – some native, some clearly not – down into populated parts of the city. In the spring, one night, I watched a rather large wild boar saunter past our balcony. Some weeks later I remember hearing a tremendous racket during the small hours in a neighbouring street by […]

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On inflection

When my youngest sister Emma was born in Portugal in 1983 there still existed a series of “by-laws” – for want of a better term – that were a hangover from the “Estado Novo”; the Salazar régime that ended in 1974. In this case, I am referring to a list of approved names for children. […]

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Paloma

145 Bis Rue de la Pompe was our home in Paris. The “Bis” refers to the fact that our flat didn’t overlook the street but was tucked inside behind the facade, peering over an inner courtyard; a triangular concrete beach with chamfers at each corner dominated by a raised concrete dome that in turn was […]

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On the right to arm bears

I’ll start with the punch-line. American pro-gun lobbyists are infantile in the extreme. They are like a whole lot of little children playing with dangerous toys who, after being told that they should probably put them down before someone loses an eye, are stuck at “No! I don’t want to.” And how many eyes have […]

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On supersonic flight

  In the early eighties my paternal grandfather was having to go back and forth between London and New York quite regularly for business; pressing issues like the Brazilian foreign debt and trying to persuade Argentina not to default on her loans. One year – perhaps 1983 or 1984 – he famously flew Concorde return […]

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The problem with foreigners

I was just reminded of a Spanish guy I heard about in London when I was a student. We had a friend in common. He was called Jesus (as in “Hey Suss”; common enough in Catholic Hispanic countries). His English was pretty sketchy but he had heard about a job with Pizza Hut and decided […]

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On love

It goes on record that I’m not a great fan of weddings but, as I said to Sacha this afternoon, when it’s your sister’s wedding you are bound and required to be present.  I spent twelve years of my life, as a school boy, practically stitched into some version of a suit and tie. As […]

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